he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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