Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
did you just send me my own nude
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
