Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize