Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
