You can't motorboat a personality
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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