Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
