so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize