Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
