This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
