im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
