Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
