physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
