sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
