I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
