i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
