I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i will never coherently bang her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You're like the curious george of whores
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
