are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
