I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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