I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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