That's when you crack a 10am beer
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
