She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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