I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
