im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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