I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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