My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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