they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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