Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
