if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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