so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
