Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
