I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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