At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
