well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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