It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize