i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
