you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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