You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
