I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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