you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize