speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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