Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
