So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
