Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
