Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
