You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
