He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
