Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
