Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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