so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
