We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
