We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
