Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
