Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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