She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Threesome in a minivan. New low
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
