yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
