So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
