So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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