i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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