I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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