Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just pee around me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
