should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
