i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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