the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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