You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
