I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
