508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
