Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
