She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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