The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
