Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Watching her eat just hurts me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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