Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
