he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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